Buddha described the human mind as being filled with drunken monkeys, jumping around, screeching, chattering, carrying on endlessly. We all have monkey minds, Buddha said, with dozens of monkeys all clamoring for attention. Fear is an especially loud monkey, sounding the alarm incessantly, pointing out all the things we should be wary of and everything that could go wrong. B J Gallagher
Overwhelming shame and fear, real or imagined, pulled me away from others. When the isolating anxiety became more than I could handle, I found solace in writing practice. I talked to myself as if I were my beloved counselor and minister, my son, my mother.
I needed to hear kind words.
I needed to know why my son killed himself.
I needed to know how a mother survives such grief.
I needed to calm my monkey mind.
Ten years later I am still writing.
This morning my monkey mind jumps around with ideas for sharing this practice and doubts of who I think I am or why it would matter. Argh!
So write, Laura. Use your practice to tame that monkey.